


chummy games

by serenfire



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec and Magnus play poker, And truth or dare, Fluff, Humor, Izzy is a Memelord, Just Kidding He's A Hoot, M/M, Magnus is Funny but Not As Funny As He Thinks He Is, Memes, Tumblr Memes, and strip poker, in that order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 13:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenfire/pseuds/serenfire
Summary: “Magnus Bane, love of my life,” Alec announces.“Yes?”“You are way, way more handsome than anyone else in all of eternity, even a stud like me.”





	chummy games

**Author's Note:**

> the prompt from [red-moon10](http://www.red-moon10.tumblr.com):  
> "And admit I'm more handsome than you."  
> "Oh, now, that's going too far..."

The sun fades into a dull red glow on the Manhattan horizon. As the streets of New York City fill with Downworlders and Shadowhunters wake up for the night shift, Alec lounges on the floor of Magnus’ penthouse and ruefully picks up another card Magnus offers him.

He has a pair of threes and a high nine. Alec scratches at his cheek and wills himself to not frown, because Magnus can see through him in just a second of weakness.

When he composes himself enough to brave a look at Magnus, Magnus is full-out smiling. 

“Good card?” The warlock waggles his eyebrows.

Alec socks him in the arm. “You know it wasn’t.”

“How could I possibly know it wasn’t a good card? You have such an amazing poker face, Alexander.”

“No, I don’t.”

“No, you don’t.”

Alec socks him in the arm again. “Okay, fine. Do you want to bet anything or are we just going to lay our cards down?”

“What do you have to add to my immense wealth?” Magnus teases. “I am completely self-sufficient, but if you wanted to offer a token of our love, then feel free to bet the five bucks crumpled in your pocket, or something.”

“You know what I do have? My skills,” Alec protests. 

Magnus nods in agreement.

“I’ll shoot someone for you with my bow if you want. Only someone bad, though.”

“I’m sure you would,” Magnus sighs, “but I have no need for an assassin. I already have three.”

Alec’s eyebrows go through his forehead. “Um, you what?”

“Never mind. Let’s forego the daring and just turn our cards over!” Magnus looks directly into Alec’s eyes without blinking until Alec lays his cards down.

Magnus stifles a laugh. “Oh, two threes. How could I ever beat you, my lucky Lightwood?” He proceeds to turn over his cards. A straight flush.

Alec opens and closes his mouth like a fish. “You cheated,” he accuses.

Magnus plants a kiss on his nose. “You can’t prove anything, Alexander,” he promises, and with a snap, the cards blink out of existence. “Now, everything we’ve played have been so boring. How about a good old-fashioned game of truth and dare?”

Alec narrows his eyes. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Of course you do. And you can go first!” Magnus leans back against his plush couch, one eyebrow raised.

Alec shakes his head. “I’m not good at these kind of chummy games.”

“Chummy games? Are we chums, Alec?”

“…No, we’re dating.”

“Exactly. So this isn’t a chummy game. It’s a dating game.”

“Oh, by the Angel. That’s even more pressure.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll go first. Thanks for being such a gentleman and letting me, the damsel in distress, go first.”

Alec sighs.

Magnus leans closer, his eyebrows doing a dance of their own. “So which will it be, truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Alec sighs.

Magnus deflates.

“Oh, you really wanted to dare me? What, did you want a refill of your Cherry Coke or something?”

“Nah, it’s still half full,” Magnus says. “Okay, truth: what was the funniest joke you heard this last week?”

“Magnus, people don’t tell me jokes.”

“That can’t be true. Izzy sends me memes all the time. You must have gotten something cool and relevant.”

Alec scrunches up his nose. He is the absolute cutest when he scrunches his nose. “Okay—this morning Izzy took a picture of Jace walking down the other side of the street and called it a cryptid, whatever that is.”

“That’s not funny without the picture.”

“Um, yesterday I complained about the paperwork process now that I’m Head of the Institute, and Izzy said, and I quote, ‘Big Mood,’ whatever that is.”

Magnus stares off into the distance like he’s trying to picture it, and then shakes his head. “Not funny. Okay, different question.” He stares at the ground, without saying a single thing.

The silence stretches on.

Alec sighs. “If you’re not good at this game, then why did you suggest we play it?”

Magnus holds up a single finger. “I am amazing at this game, Alexander, it’s just that I prefer dares. Okay…funny question…”

“We can just play dirty truth or dare, and it would be so much easier to think of things.”

“But I’m trying to be funny and prove to you how funny you are too! You’re just making this so hard for me!”

“Oh, I’m sorry that I am cockblocking your attempt to make me feel accomplished at being a comedian. Sorry I’m making it so hard for you to admit defeat and just resort to sex.”

“How dare you insult me that way, Alexander!” Magnus mock-scowls. “Okay, wait, I have a good one. I just need for you to do a dare. Please?”

“Okay, Magnus, I will do a dare. But if you insist on me shooting someone with my bow, I do want to remind you that I already offered and you turned me down.”

“No, it’s not that.” Magnus grins at Alec. “Are you ready?”

“Yes, I’m ready.”

“What I need you to do is… wait for it… refill my Cherry Coke!” Magnus brandishes his wine glass filled with the best soft drink in the universe.

Alec sighs. “Is your big idea really to just recycle what I said? Fine, but—“

“And admit that I’m more handsome than you!”

Alec, in the middle of grabbing for the glass, freezes. “No.”

“Yes,” Magnus grins eagerly. “You have to. You already agreed to the dare. In fact, I double-dog dare you!”

Alec gasps. “No.”

“Yes!” Magnus says triumphantly. “You must say ‘Magnus, you’re such a handsome warlock. No one could ever come close to your beauty, not even a stud like me.’”

“Magnus, I don’t think—wait, you called me a stud?” Alec pauses. “Okay, I might be into that deal. On one condition!”

Magnus badly imitates a bow. “Your wish is my command, stud.”

“Oh, come off it. My one wish is that I drink this Cherry Coke and then you magic over another can instead of making me go get it. If you want me to flatter you, don’t make me do your chores for you, too.”

“Deal!” Magnus says, snapping his fingers. Another can of Cherry Coke appears in his hand, and Alec drinks the last dregs of Magnus’ last can out of the fancy wineglass and hands it back.

“Are you ready?” Magnus asks.

“I’m getting into character. Wait a minute.” Alec closes his eyes, preparing himself to give up dignity and everything else he has for Magnus. It would be his absolute pleasure to give up his dignity for the love of his life.

“Alright, I’m ready,” he announces.

Magnus sips on his drink like an excited audience member in the middle of a wrestling match.

“Magnus Bane, love of my life,” Alec announces.

“Yes?”

“You are way, way more handsome than anyone else in all of eternity, even a stud like me.”

“You did it!” Magnus says, and leans over to meet their lips together. 

“Just for the record,” Alec says, “that’s not true at all. I am totally hotter than you, just saying.”

“Well, I can’t argue with facts,” Magnus says, a dimple in his cheek. “Okay, now my turn. I choose…hmm, dare.”

Alec smiles. He knows exactly which dare to choose. “Magnus Bane, I dare you to admit that I’m more handsome than you.”

Magnus acts shocked, but his grin shows right through his facade. “Alec Lightwood, who told you that you aren’t funny? You are an absolute hoot. Of course I’ll say that you are more handsome than anyone else since the universe began, and that includes yours truly, who is, for the record, a stud.”

Alec leans over and kisses him. “Great. Now that we got that out of the way, can we play a normal game?”

“Oh! I know!” Magnus snaps his hands and the card deck reappears. “Strip poker!”

“Now you’re talking, but,” Alec’s eyes narrow, “if you cheat, I will know.”

“How will you know? Besides, didn’t you want to get naked like five minutes ago?”

Alec tries not to smile. “Don’t use the past against me. I was a different man then.”

“I hope not,” Magnus says, shuffling and dealing the cards. “That man was a stud.”

“Aw,” Alec blushes. He takes the offered cards. “Never change, Magnus.”

Magnus winks. Alec picks up the cards, and he has a pair of threes and a high nine.

“Hey,” he frowns. “These are the exact same cards I had last time.”

Magnus shows him his hand, a straight flush, with a theatrical wink. “I did what you asked and didn’t change at all. Now, strip!”

**Author's Note:**

> [reblog this as a post?](http://billpottses.tumblr.com/post/162527017002)   
>  [my tumblr](http://billpottses.tumblr.com)


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